Finding Magic

Our boat left the beach of our hotel at around eight in the morning to take us on an island-hopping adventure. The bright sun and low tide made it easy for us to see the bottom of the sea. However, in the distance the sky above the island that we were visiting looked cloudy and dark. It seemed like we were going to race against the rain. Let’s see who would reach the island first.

Halfway to the furthest island on our island-hopping itinerary, the wind started to pick up and made the waves grew higher. It made Tori super nervous. She moved closer to me and I gave her a tight squeeze.  We closed our eyes and just hugged. (This was nothing compared to our boat trip from Bali to Nusa Penida. I am pretty sure I would not want to do it again, ever!)

I could hear the boat’s engine slowed down. It let out a calmer hum compared to how it was before. I opened my eyes and saw Tori did the same. Our boat was getting closer to the shore, away from the choppy water. We were mesmerized by the calm and shallow turquoise water. And it seemed like we beat the rain! The dark clouds were still further away!

Look at this island! Doesn’t it look like a perfect setting for a fantasy story of trolls and other magical creatures?

Approaching Lengkuas Island
On Lengkuas Island

The minute I set foot on the island, I was really there, present, not lost in my thoughts as I often would be. I think THAT is the magic of nature: a combination of beauty, dramatic scenery, and ruggedness – all traits that made easy to disengage from daily worries and routines. Those are the magic that I keep finding whenever we travel to nature. The change of scenery and activities have always been successful in leaving me feeling wowed and renewed. As we sat back on the boat to continue our trip, our guide jumped back into the water to pick up a big shell and gave it to Tori. A gift from the sea. A memento from this magical place.

All photos and videos are mine

Taken at Lengkuas Island, Belitung, Indonesia

July 2023

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The Busyness of School Break

PARENTING

Hello, fellow parents! How was school break? Are you still in it? How is it going?

School is back in session for us in Surabaya. After I dropped Tori off at school this morning, I had the house to myself and was able to chat a bit with a friend about the busyness of school break for parents. A reality that most parents of school age children experience.  It made me chuckled. Yeah, school break is much needed, but these days it could also mean a non-stop screen time for children if we let it be, hence the pressure for parents to keep children busy and interested in doing other things.

I am grateful for school breaks. For me, it means: relaxed mornings, a little break from the preparing and rushing.  The minute that last day of the semester was completed, I could feel a bit more at ease. At least for a while. Then comes the horrifying scene of the child holding a tablet for many hours in a day. Oh, heck no!

YES! I am one of those parents who is still trying hard to lessen the amount of screen time for my child. YES, it feels like a losing battle at times because I admit that it would have been easier if I could just let it be and hope for the best. But, I cannot! Will not!

Due to my idealism and determination, dear readers, I successfully created more work for myself between the months of June -July. I was basically an event organizer for a month. (Yes, we only get a one month break, not three like how it is back in the US.) I had plenty of discussion with Tori and we agreed to do these things:

Cousins and friends’ playdates: Today, obviously, children do not play outs on the streets like I used to when I was little. Besides, our street is a busy main road. So yeah, playdate is the route for children to meet and play. Thankfully, our families live nearby. So, Tori was always able to see her cousins throughout the break (although some of the activities also involved some screen time, *sigh* it is inevitable).  We were also able to go to the playground with her classmates and another time with her little cousins. So, definitely plenty of play time during this break.

Decluttering: We try to make decluttering a habit. Each year, during school break, we take some time to take inventory of our her belongings. Things accumulate within a year and her room easily gets filled with so many things. So, I asked her to work with me to sort toys, books, papers, and clothing. We put things in two piles: to recycle and to donate. We turned on the AC, cranked up good music, and got to work.

Music Practice: Tori has guitar lessons once a week with a teacher. She has been learning to play the guitar for two years. We came to an agreement that she would practice every day during school break. Who knows, she might be feeling more confident and would give a performance one day soon. Let’s see!

Reading Marathon: Like mother, like daughter, we both collect books! We have a few books that we have bought but not yet read. So, we took it upon ourselves to read as many as we can during the break. She finished seven chapter books, while I only did 3!

Arts and Crafts: We have arts and crafts supplies both at home and at my office. “Keep the hands busy, so the mind can rest,” said a friend the other day. I absolutely agree with that. I think doing arts and crafts works wonders for anyone regardless of age. Look at some of her work! Impressive, right?

Help Mama at Work: I did a few art classes for children at the café and Tori was able to help me and participated as well. She was very helpful, gentle, and patient toward the younger participants. I was very lucky to get her help.

Exercise: Tori joined me and my husband in our morning jog. She would ride her bike or scooter and we ran behind her. I also allowed her to join my yoga and pilates workout at home.

As for screen time, of course she still had the chance to do it, just not all day and everyday. But as I said, I need to make sure that she is still interested in many other things in the real and offline world. And for now, dear friends, I am happy to report that she still does.

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Black Rocks and White Sand

The white sandy beach stretched out for two kilometers. There were no one else but us. The sun had set and left this blue shade all around us. The water was calm, so much so that it was hard to believe it was the sea. The sand was buttery soft underneath our feet. Tori refused to leave, so we sat there watching her dance with the water. She finally relented after the sky turned completely dark. We promised her that we would be back first thing in the morning.

When we came back the next day, we could see small islands along the horizon. Some of them seemed so close that they made you wonder if you could swim your way to reach them. It was early July, which was supposed to be the start of dry season here but we had been getting clouds and some rain ever since we arrived on this island. We were grateful for both though. They kept the temperature cool for us on this otherwise hot and humid island. We had a long breakfast and took our time to swim in the sea and then the pool all morning. This was how we liked our beach vacation, we slowed down our time so that we could really take it all in.

Waking up to this view

The car ride took us to see beaches with granite rocks. These gigantic rocks stood side by side all along the coast. They looked so amazing against the white sandy beach and turquoise water. We walked by them, underneath, in between, and we climbed on them as if to confirm the belief that we were so small compared to nature. We talked and wondered about what we saw. The three of us were just completely in awe with the view when finally the sun peaked through the clouds for a bit. Then the sea turned its color into turquoise.

All pictures are mine.

Taken in Belitung Island, Indonesia

July 2023

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Why Travel with Kids?

Traveling with kids is much more than a memory building activity. I think traveling with them could provide so many benefits for both parties.

Are you a traveler like I am? And now you have young children? Do you feel a bit anxious to travel with them? Surely, traveling would look a bit different from what you were used to before. But, it is still very doable. Just have to be a bit patient to move in a slower pace. Here are a few nuggets that I have compiled from my own personal experiences:

  1. It provides a chance in getting to know our children better: Being in the present moment with each other lets us in on special journey in getting to know more about our children. Children are independent thinkers and great observers. Pay attention and find out. You might be pleasantly surprised by their opinions or ‘sides’ that you did not know before. Okay, let’s be honest, most of us have so much screentime these days that we could be sitting across from each other but not say a word. Traveling together ‘forces’ us to be in a situation where there would be plenty of things to see, experience, and discuss.
  2. It fulfills children’s hard core need of connection: What do you think children crave the most? I think it is our solid and undivided attention that they want the most. OMG! So much, right?! We might as well call it their magic drug, really. But, I mean…why wouldn’t they crave our affectionate attention, our touch, and gentleness. Truly, those are keys in human development, right? Traveling together allows us to really be in a situation where we could focus on each other.
  3. Develops and defines our very own “Family Time“: We, as parents, develop a good grasp of what it takes to make traveling enjoyable for everyone. It is a good exercise as a family to understand our own pace and style in traveling together. Once we get used to traveling together, it would feel so much easier where you would just be able to pack up and go without too much of a hassle.
  4. It helps us to be more present: No one is more present than young children. Look, just like anyone, many times my head feels so full of to-do list, ideas, and work worries. I spend a lot of time with my thoughts. There are moments when I have to let it be, but during these travels with my child is when I am able to snap out of my thoughts and be present. Children have that ability to rescue us from these relentless thinking.
  5. It helps us to be more flexible: When we combine all of the above along with the joy and laughter that we collect during the trips, I think we all benefit. Sure there are things that might not go according to plans, but you know what, being able to be okay with that is also a skill. Young children get tired and hungry easily. They are also tiny little humans “who just got here” and are far from being able to regulate their emotions. When we keep those things in mind, we would be able to insert flexibility in our mindset and also in our travel plans much better.
  6. Children become flexible and adaptable: Before you know it, our little ones become such savvy travelers. They know what to do and how to behave at the airport/security check/airplane/trains/ferry/car/restaurants/public spaces. They learn from mimicking our travel behaviors and from experiencing the whole journey with us. Be sure to share information with them about what the day would look like, how to get there, and what to expect. Treat them the way you would want to be treated.

Traveling together presents the opportunity for us to develop a very strong connection with our children. That connection is KEY to a great relationship and cooperation within the family. Here is to making the time to enjoy our family!

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Salad Timun Marty

Membuat salad timun, tomat, dan kacang garbanzo. Resep mudah untuk dilakukan bersama anak-anak.

Salad ini sangat mudah dibuat oleh anak-anak usia 5 tahun keatas dengan supervisi dari orang tua. Harapannya adalah anak-anak semakin suka makan beragam buah dan sayuran seperti Marty dari buku cerita Kisah Marty si Kancil.

Salad ini dapat diperkaya dengan sayuran seperti selada. Juga bisa ditambahkan pasta seperti macaroni atau vegeroni yang sudah direbus hingga matang. Terima kasih telah membaca dan selamat mencoba.

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To Finish what you start

Menyelesaikan sesuatu yang telah dimulai dan menikmati prosesnya. Mungkin sebenarnya itu yang saya inginkan untuk anak saya dapatkan dari kegiatan mewarna ini. Sama dengan sebuah tugas pekerjaan milik orang dewasa, tidak mudah bagi siapapun untuk menyelesaikan begitu saja dengan hasil yang memuaskan. Perlu strategi, waktu, dedikasi, dan ketelatenan dalam menyelesaikan. Disinilah rasanya anak-anak perlu panduan kita sebagai orang tua.

Danielle Schothorst menciptakan dua gambar dari Kisah Marty si Kancil untuk dijadikan kertas mewarna bagi anak-anak. Saya berikan satu kepada Anja (anak saya umur enam tahun) yang memang dari sejak kecil suka mewarna. Dia bilang, “Aku warna dan nanti aku pasang di jendela cafe, Ma. Biar banyak orang mau beli buku Marty.” Betapa beruntungnya saya menjadi ibu anak ini!

Kemudian, Clavis Indonesia mengadakan sebuah lomba mewarna dengan menggunakan salah satu lembar gambar itu. Saya bertanya kepada Anja apakah dia ingin ikut lomba tersebut. Dia menjawab ya. Langsung saja dia mewarna dengan semangat, apalagi pada waktu itu sepupunya (usia 10 tahun) sudah menyelesaikan proyek mewarna ini. Hmm…tapi lihat gambar indah ini: ukurannya besar dan detilnya luar biasa. Maka saya minta kepada Anja untuk tidak terburu-buru. Bahwa mewarna ini bukan soal ikut lomba atau menjadi yang paling cepat selesai.  Saya ajak Anja untuk menggunakan kertas gambar ini sebagai pengisi waktu disaat menunggu sekolah online dimulai dan sebagai acara relaksasi sebelum tidur. Di dalam benak saya, saya pikir, seandainya tidak selesai saat deadline lomba juga tidak apa. Buat saya, yang penting dia mewarna hingga selesai dan dia menikmati prosesnya itu. Juga untuk mulai membiasakan diri untuk memiliki kegiatan pengisi waktu luang. Dia paham maksud saya dan yang saya lihat dia menikmati proses ini. Seringkali saya mendapatinya mewarna sendiri sambil menunggu saya bersiap untuk ke café, tempat saya bekerja, atau saat saya masih ribet merapikan apa-apa sebelum waktu tidur.

Tentunya, selayaknya anak kecil, kadang dia lupa akan kertas warna ini dan saya atau papanya yang harus ingatkan. Di saat Anja mewarna, saya tidak bersuara dalam menentukan warna dan teknis mewarnanya. Itu semua dari dirinya. Kadang dia bertanya, “Ini enaknya pakai warna apa ya langitnya?” Saya jawab, “Hmmm…apa ya? Bebas, Anja. Menurut kamu yang bagus gimana?” Sudah begitu saja. Ha ha.

Sebenarnya, apa yang saya lakukan dengan Anja itu berguna untuk saya sendiri. Supaya saya selalu ingat bahwa pekerjaan apapun yang dilakukan, penting untuk dinikmati prosesnya, apabila perlu dicicil sedikit demi sedikit, dikerjakan dengan totalitas dan fokus, dari awal hingga selesai.

Hasil karya Anja? Atas ide cemerlang seorang teman, hasil karya Anja dibingkai dan dipajang di cafe beserta karya sepupunya.

The Localist Coffee and Bistro

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Salad Buah Marty

Hai semuanya!

Sama seperti Marty, dari buku saya yang berjudul Kisah Marty si Kancil, saya dan si kecil adalah pecinta buah-buahan dan juga sayuran. Dalam beberapa postingan kedepan ini, kami akan mengajak anak-anak membuat berbagai macam salad dan sup sayuran. Kali ini, kami membuat Salad Buah Marty. Segar dan enak banget! Juga yang paling penting adalah: mudah untuk dibuat. Selamat mencoba ya! Beritahu kami salad buah versimu. Tag akun Instagram kami @tori.story.book.

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Stepping out of my comfort zone

It means to let go of the need to control every single thing possible

It means to trust the process

It means to handle your fear of success

It means to seek and accept feedback especially from those who believe in you, no matter how hard they sound

It means to push yourself to the outer limit

It means to manage the perpetual butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling

It means to GROW

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Kisah Marty si Kancil

Buku Cerita Untuk Anakku

Proses terciptanya buku Kisah Marty si Kancil memiliki cerita tersendiri. Pada tahun 2016, saya, suami, bersama putri kami (sebut saja Tori, yang berusia 17 bulan pada saat itu) kembali ke tanah air setelah 20 tahun menetap di Amerika Serikat. Saat itu saya merasa kurang puas dengan keterbatasan pilihan buku anak usia balita di toko-toko buku untuk Tori. Mulailah saya mengembangkan ide untuk menulis buku untuk anak usia prasekolah. Proyek buku pertama saya adalah self-published board book berjudul Tori The Traveling Toddler Goes to the Mountain dan yang kedua adalah Tori the Traveling Toddler Goes to the Beach. Selain kedua buku tersebut, saya juga mengembangkan suatu kegiatan membaca buku (yang kami beri nama StoryTime) bagi anak-anak balita dan orang tuanya setiap hari Sabtu dan Minggu di The Localist Coffee and Bistro, sebuah cafe yang saya kelola di Surabaya.

Di pertengahan tahun 2019, penerbit Clavis Indonesia menghubungi The Localist untuk berkolaborasi membuat satu workshop bagi penulis dan ilustrator di Surabaya. Mungkin inilah yang biasa disebut orang dengan berjodoh. Kami menemukan banyak kesamaan dalam visi dan misi. Ada semangat dan keinginan tinggi untuk memberikan kepada anak-anak beragam buku memikat yang sesuai dengan masa perkembangan dan sudut pandang mereka. Ada harapan besar yang sama untuk meningkatkan budaya literasi dalam keluarga Indonesia, menjadikan membaca buku sebagai suatu kebiasaan dalam kehidupan sehari-hari si kecil. Dari titik tersebut, kami tahu bahwa kami siap untuk mencipta bersama.

Kisah Marty si Kancil adalah sebuah hasil kolaborasi dan karya cinta dari saya, Danielle Schotshorst, dan Clavis Indonesia. Kami persembahkan buku ini untuk anak-anak Indonesia dan keluarga mereka. Semoga adaptasi dongeng nusantara yang mengajarkan tentang konsekuensi dan tanggung jawab, serta dikemas dalam ilustrasi yang memikat, ini dapat menjadi buku kesayangan mereka yang dibaca berulang-ulang dan dijadikan sumber ide untuk kegiatan bermain dan belajar.

Dapatkan buku ini di website Clavis Indonesia atau melalui Direct Message Instagram @clavisindonesia.

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City Parks of Surabaya

It feels good to be outside. Under the shade of tall tropical trees, catching a nice cool breeze while strolling around the park. Taman Prestasi city park follows the curve of the Kalimas river right next to it. It is long and narrow, green, and filled with swing sets, slides, and climb-ups. The look on Anja’s face each time we go to a park is pure joy. So Jeff and I made it a mission to take her to parks and outdoor playgrounds in Surabaya as much as we can.

Little white flowers
Printed on leaves
Kalimas River
Part of the playground
Kalimas River
Yellow Hibiscus
Bougainvillea
Taman Prestasi
Photography in session
Nice strolling path

I left this city 20 years ago and I returned with a husband and a toddler last year. Both Surabaya natives, Jeff and I had been worried about outdoor activities. Surabaya is known for its heat, traffic and congestion and it is saturated by indoor shopping malls. Are we just going to be indoors all the time? What to do with a toddler in this city? I had those questions in mind along with so many other things anyone would after a major move across the ocean. Time went by. Jeff and I were too busy to notice city parks! Last week something inside of me just nudged and prompted me to take the three of us to visit a park nearby where we live. And wow, how glad I was to do so. We liked Taman Flora (Kebun Bibit Bratang) a lot.  There is joy in discovery, isn’t there? Especially when it is a clean park with playgrounds in it. That “discovery” felt encouraging. I was determined to look for other parks nearby.

Early evening stroll
Taman Flora (Kebun Bibit Bratang)
Feeding the deer
“There’s your friend, deer”
Swing!

A keeps asking for the swing while we’re walking through the park. She lights up immediately when we find a set, farther away from the crowd. She doesn’t care if the swings or slides or climb-up are not made of quality materials. Aren’t kids awesome that way? She plops down on the seat and swings slowly. Our daughter notices  our gestures and hears every little thing we say. So Jeff and I try not to be so critical toward things we find different from what we are used to from our lives abroad.

The three city parks we visited are decent. Sure, the playground could be better. But for Surabaya to have these outdoor spaces where we could stroll, feed the deer, swing and slide, and just enjoy being outside in the city for a bit, I think is pretty damn good. Keep up the good work, Surabaya! Stay clean and green!

Note: The third park we visited in these past two weeks was Kebun Bibit Wonorejo – forgot to take pictures!

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