The Busyness of School Break

PARENTING

Hello, fellow parents! How was school break? Are you still in it? How is it going?

School is back in session for us in Surabaya. After I dropped Tori off at school this morning, I had the house to myself and was able to chat a bit with a friend about the busyness of school break for parents. A reality that most parents of school age children experience.  It made me chuckled. Yeah, school break is much needed, but these days it could also mean a non-stop screen time for children if we let it be, hence the pressure for parents to keep children busy and interested in doing other things.

I am grateful for school breaks. For me, it means: relaxed mornings, a little break from the preparing and rushing.  The minute that last day of the semester was completed, I could feel a bit more at ease. At least for a while. Then comes the horrifying scene of the child holding a tablet for many hours in a day. Oh, heck no!

YES! I am one of those parents who is still trying hard to lessen the amount of screen time for my child. YES, it feels like a losing battle at times because I admit that it would have been easier if I could just let it be and hope for the best. But, I cannot! Will not!

Due to my idealism and determination, dear readers, I successfully created more work for myself between the months of June -July. I was basically an event organizer for a month. (Yes, we only get a one month break, not three like how it is back in the US.) I had plenty of discussion with Tori and we agreed to do these things:

Cousins and friends’ playdates: Today, obviously, children do not play outs on the streets like I used to when I was little. Besides, our street is a busy main road. So yeah, playdate is the route for children to meet and play. Thankfully, our families live nearby. So, Tori was always able to see her cousins throughout the break (although some of the activities also involved some screen time, *sigh* it is inevitable).  We were also able to go to the playground with her classmates and another time with her little cousins. So, definitely plenty of play time during this break.

Decluttering: We try to make decluttering a habit. Each year, during school break, we take some time to take inventory of our her belongings. Things accumulate within a year and her room easily gets filled with so many things. So, I asked her to work with me to sort toys, books, papers, and clothing. We put things in two piles: to recycle and to donate. We turned on the AC, cranked up good music, and got to work.

Music Practice: Tori has guitar lessons once a week with a teacher. She has been learning to play the guitar for two years. We came to an agreement that she would practice every day during school break. Who knows, she might be feeling more confident and would give a performance one day soon. Let’s see!

Reading Marathon: Like mother, like daughter, we both collect books! We have a few books that we have bought but not yet read. So, we took it upon ourselves to read as many as we can during the break. She finished seven chapter books, while I only did 3!

Arts and Crafts: We have arts and crafts supplies both at home and at my office. “Keep the hands busy, so the mind can rest,” said a friend the other day. I absolutely agree with that. I think doing arts and crafts works wonders for anyone regardless of age. Look at some of her work! Impressive, right?

Help Mama at Work: I did a few art classes for children at the café and Tori was able to help me and participated as well. She was very helpful, gentle, and patient toward the younger participants. I was very lucky to get her help.

Exercise: Tori joined me and my husband in our morning jog. She would ride her bike or scooter and we ran behind her. I also allowed her to join my yoga and pilates workout at home.

As for screen time, of course she still had the chance to do it, just not all day and everyday. But as I said, I need to make sure that she is still interested in many other things in the real and offline world. And for now, dear friends, I am happy to report that she still does.

Harini RianaLeave a comment

Black Rocks and White Sand

The white sandy beach stretched out for two kilometers. There were no one else but us. The sun had set and left this blue shade all around us. The water was calm, so much so that it was hard to believe it was the sea. The sand was buttery soft underneath our feet. Tori refused to leave, so we sat there watching her dance with the water. She finally relented after the sky turned completely dark. We promised her that we would be back first thing in the morning.

When we came back the next day, we could see small islands along the horizon. Some of them seemed so close that they made you wonder if you could swim your way to reach them. It was early July, which was supposed to be the start of dry season here but we had been getting clouds and some rain ever since we arrived on this island. We were grateful for both though. They kept the temperature cool for us on this otherwise hot and humid island. We had a long breakfast and took our time to swim in the sea and then the pool all morning. This was how we liked our beach vacation, we slowed down our time so that we could really take it all in.

Waking up to this view

The car ride took us to see beaches with granite rocks. These gigantic rocks stood side by side all along the coast. They looked so amazing against the white sandy beach and turquoise water. We walked by them, underneath, in between, and we climbed on them as if to confirm the belief that we were so small compared to nature. We talked and wondered about what we saw. The three of us were just completely in awe with the view when finally the sun peaked through the clouds for a bit. Then the sea turned its color into turquoise.

All pictures are mine.

Taken in Belitung Island, Indonesia

July 2023

Harini RianaLeave a comment

Why Travel with Kids?

Traveling with kids is much more than a memory building activity. I think traveling with them could provide so many benefits for both parties.

Are you a traveler like I am? And now you have young children? Do you feel a bit anxious to travel with them? Surely, traveling would look a bit different from what you were used to before. But, it is still very doable. Just have to be a bit patient to move in a slower pace. Here are a few nuggets that I have compiled from my own personal experiences:

  1. It provides a chance in getting to know our children better: Being in the present moment with each other lets us in on special journey in getting to know more about our children. Children are independent thinkers and great observers. Pay attention and find out. You might be pleasantly surprised by their opinions or ‘sides’ that you did not know before. Okay, let’s be honest, most of us have so much screentime these days that we could be sitting across from each other but not say a word. Traveling together ‘forces’ us to be in a situation where there would be plenty of things to see, experience, and discuss.
  2. It fulfills children’s hard core need of connection: What do you think children crave the most? I think it is our solid and undivided attention that they want the most. OMG! So much, right?! We might as well call it their magic drug, really. But, I mean…why wouldn’t they crave our affectionate attention, our touch, and gentleness. Truly, those are keys in human development, right? Traveling together allows us to really be in a situation where we could focus on each other.
  3. Develops and defines our very own “Family Time“: We, as parents, develop a good grasp of what it takes to make traveling enjoyable for everyone. It is a good exercise as a family to understand our own pace and style in traveling together. Once we get used to traveling together, it would feel so much easier where you would just be able to pack up and go without too much of a hassle.
  4. It helps us to be more present: No one is more present than young children. Look, just like anyone, many times my head feels so full of to-do list, ideas, and work worries. I spend a lot of time with my thoughts. There are moments when I have to let it be, but during these travels with my child is when I am able to snap out of my thoughts and be present. Children have that ability to rescue us from these relentless thinking.
  5. It helps us to be more flexible: When we combine all of the above along with the joy and laughter that we collect during the trips, I think we all benefit. Sure there are things that might not go according to plans, but you know what, being able to be okay with that is also a skill. Young children get tired and hungry easily. They are also tiny little humans “who just got here” and are far from being able to regulate their emotions. When we keep those things in mind, we would be able to insert flexibility in our mindset and also in our travel plans much better.
  6. Children become flexible and adaptable: Before you know it, our little ones become such savvy travelers. They know what to do and how to behave at the airport/security check/airplane/trains/ferry/car/restaurants/public spaces. They learn from mimicking our travel behaviors and from experiencing the whole journey with us. Be sure to share information with them about what the day would look like, how to get there, and what to expect. Treat them the way you would want to be treated.

Traveling together presents the opportunity for us to develop a very strong connection with our children. That connection is KEY to a great relationship and cooperation within the family. Here is to making the time to enjoy our family!

Harini RianaLeave a comment